Memories is my Word of the Week

Do you ever have those days where it’s like you are reliving things? Or that while you are doing things it brings back memories of your existence the last time you were doing that thing? This week there was a lot of that. It started with me deciding to finish a blanket I had crocheted since about 2016! Do your projects last this long? Of course, it wasn’t intentional that it should take so long. I started the granny square blanket as a way to give myself time to think about the death of my son and the grief I was going through. Then I finished the blanket but I thought it needed a soft backing.

When I was teaching I just felt like my brain couldn’t process my emotions of grief and be there for my students and the job at the same time. I found it hard. But I found that when I was doing something like crocheting, even though it involved counting stitches etc, there was still a part of my brain that allowed me to focus on the heaviness that had become my life. And I wanted the time to be able to do that. So when I took Mondays off work and then eventually gave up teaching, a lot of my time was spent crocheting.

So when I took up the blanket to add a soft felt backing to it on Sunday, all those memories came flooding back in.

When I finished hand sewing the backing to the blanket, I realised that it suited Leisa’s room and her current decor more than it did mine. So while she was downstairs making dinner, I placed it on her chair sort of as a way to say thanks for the memories. She was always handy in starting my crochet projects or advising me on how to do different aspects of them. It also reminded me of the strong tower of strength that she is to me during all the days, months, and years of living with grief.

So if she decides to keep the blanket, I’ll have those good and bad memories every time I go into her room. But it’s ok, it’s all part of life.

On Sunday too, I finally took up the book IT STARTS WITH US which is the sequel to IT ENDS WITH US which I read this Summer in Florida. So far the story continues and is gripping. But I found a paragraph on page 12 that brought back such a memory, it could easily have been written about my life.

I know I won’t finish reading it this week, especially with work but I’m enjoying the memories of laying in bed in Florida to get my fix of the main characters in the book.

 

Google Photos brought up this photo too which reminds me of the time Leisa and I went to Sweden one September 13 years ago. We had fond memories looking back. But both of us said, ‘but we weren’t too fat back then!’ It’s strange that we thought we were very fat back then, lol. We love the experience of travelling and taking photos is one way to remind ourselves of the memories we shared in the different places we’ve been to. I think it was in Sweden where we got stuck in an elevator once too. So all the memories aren’t too pleasant but they are memories nonetheless.

I’m also mindful that what we do now and how we live now, will produce the memories that we will look back on years from now. Make sure you are creating good memories. We hope you had a good week.