Here’s my disclaimer to this post on forgive and forget to start off with: It is not easy, but it is so worth it!
Have you ever been hurt and hurt and hurt by the same person? Feels like torture, doesn’t it? But the right thing to do is to forgive! The forgiveness part is difficult! The forgetting part? That’s much worse.
How can you forget the pain? How can you forget when others keep reminding you of what happened? How can you forget especially when you see the person almost every day. How can you forget when you bear the scars (sometimes physical) of the assault you suffered at their hands?
Well let’s start with first things first: forgive
Ever heard this seventy times seven malarkey? Well I have, and I’ve started to practise it. But how? If you really think about it, someone who hurts you, wrongs you, so often just has absolutely no idea just how much they are hurting you! And that’s the reason you should forgive them… They just don’t know!
Now turn the tables. Do you know that you hurt people every day too? Sometimes it’s planned but sometimes you do it inadvertently! Would you want the other person’s forgiveness? Or would you want them to constantly be angry at you for what you’ve done? Because the shoe is on the other foot, it’s hard to see. But you do hurt people too, more than you will ever know! So forgive, and get rid of the anger!
Whether you read the Bible or the Koran or some other book that offers guidelines for living, you will see the advice given: forgive them for they know not what they do. Also, how often is it suggested that you forgive the same person? Up to seventy times seven! That’s a whopping four hundred and ninety times! I know it sounds difficult and for me, it’s been easy! I forgive! How? I just let it go, forget about it, give new chances after chances! And I usually get hurt again and again and again. But here comes the hard part!
Forget about it? I’ve tried, but I can’t. Can you? But then again who says that I should forgive and forget? I’m going to bet that that’s not even biblical! It’s man made! Someone came up with this idea to add FORGET! And that’s where I find it difficult, no, impossible. The pain of physical abuse, a cheating spouse, willful lies, being robbed, mentally abused and treated unfairly, those are difficult, if not impossible to forget.
I’m going to pause and do some research on this idea of forgive and forget. Brb…
Well! Result! The bible, (my favourite version) does not mention forgive and forget! It mentions that we should forgive. So, that’s my resolve. That’s what I will do when I am wronged. In fact, I will try to have a forgiving spirit so that even if the perpetrator doesn’t seek forgiveness, I will forgive anyway. I will take Matthew 6:14 and Ephesians 4:32 as my guide. And I will seek to be forgiven when I know I have wronged someone. But even if I don’t know that I have wronged them, I’m hoping they will have the same forgiving spirit too, and not hold anger against me!
So how to forgive? Follow this advice: …be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted and forgive one another just as God for Christ sake has forgiven you. You let go of the baggage when you forgive. It leaves you feeling so much lighter and makes you a better person for it too! Just feels like your batteries have been recharged.
Sorry for putting the forgetting part in the title; I can’t help with that but oh how I wish I could. So, okay, I’ve failed. But still, remember to forgive.
Have you got a personal story of how forgiving someone benefit you? Share with us in the comment box below. By the way, if you’re a blogger, you get to share your last post too!
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Have a fab week xxx