I know Valentines is supposed to be all lovey-dovey and happy and romantic and sensational and all that but I have too many funny bones in my body to let it stop there. So I’m going to share with you some funny valentines related happenings I’ve heard of. Please don’t take offense as none is intended.
Some of the stories I don’t think are true. They are just for a laugh.
Have you ever heard it said: ‘You will never see an ugly bride’? Well, I have, and I’ve seen a few in my time……and grooms too, to boot! In fact, last year around valentines I got a text message from a friend which read: ‘The happy couple are now married and sent you greetings’. I was intrigued because I did not know of anyone getting married so my reply was: ‘What couple?’ The response: ‘Hold on. I’ll send you their wedding pic when I get a chance’. A few minutes later, this is what I received:
I laughed so hard tears were streaming down my face! What do you think? Be honest.
I was watching Secret Lives of 4-year-olds and I heard what I thought was a most profound statement coming from a 4-year-old. On receiving unrequited love, one youngster exclaimed: He broke my heart! Now I don’t feel it beating anymore!’ Awwww!
Well, it made me reminisce about High School days. I remember we’d make hearts from pink or red cards, write a little ‘love note’ on it and give it to whomever we dared. Well, I remember making quite a few and going back home with every one of them because then I wasn’t so daring, still am not!
Once I read a story about a homeless couple who lived under a bridge. They did everything there, cook, sleep, eat, watch
TV, I mean watch the world go by. So of course on valentines day, the gentleman wanted to prepare a scrumptious meal for his sweet love but he did not have a penny to his name, so he decided to steal from a supermarket in the town. he donned most of the clothes he possessed and walked into the supermarket perusing the aisles.
He had to be careful because he dared not let himself get caught. He saw some beautiful red roses in the first aisle but he thought there would be no place to hide that without it getting crushed so he let that go and went on. He took a few potatoes from a sack and stuffed them in his pockets. He also got a small bag of carrots and hid those too. As he went to the frozen meats section of the supermarket he wondered what he should get his young love that would go well with what he had hoarded already. He fancied a whole chicken because after all, it could last a few days but where would he hide it? He eventually gave up on that thought and instead took a nicely frozen pack of steak. At least it was not too bulky. Glancing around to ensure no one was watching him, he shoved the steak into the breast pocket of his coat.
He was rather pleased with himself. As he was exiting the supermarket he took a single red rose. Certainly, his darling love would be pleased with that. But alas! He was spotted. As the guard told him off, he pleaded: ‘Can’t a man have a rose for his valentine?’ Well, the guard, touched by his sincerity, paid for the rose on his behalf and he left.
It was a good walk to get back to the bridge. The streets were busy. It seemed like everyone was there to get something for their loved one, and Cupid had painted the town red! It was beautiful! As he neared home, he had heartburn and was hurrying to get home so he could have some herbal tea. That always cured his heartburn. He must hurry. The pain was really bad. He must hurry, hurry, hurry.
Sirens! Where is that coming from and for whom? It stopped by him! People crowded around him. Oh, my! He had fainted. The frozen slab of steak had affected his heart. Poor thing! He was rushed to the hospital where he spent 2 days.
In the meantime, his girlfriend was very upset with him, thinking he had walked out on her on Valentine’s day. If only she knew the lengths he had gone to make valentines special for her.
This valentine we hope will be a special one for you and those you love.
Is your Valentine hard to please? Here are some ideas for you. Spread some love, not only on valentines but all year round. And if this year is one for just you and your girlfriends, here are some ideas that I’ve put together.
One Love y’aal.